Us

"I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you"

Wes and I married other people in the same month of the same year. We were married for nine years to those other people before separating in the same month of the same year. One year later, the first week I had ever spent without my children, we re-met directly above the center of the earth (Zeno's). He was the skinny, nerdy farm boy that helped me pass physics in high school. I was the one who sat behind him in homeroom every morning asking about his weekends and telling him to get out there and find fun with a wild woman.

"Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you"

One of my favorite quotes from The Perks of Being a Wallflower is "We accept the love we think we deserve." As we were leaving Zeno's my friend suggested that I should ask that cute guy with the glasses out on a date. I answered incredulously "Who? Wesley Hackenberger from high school? No way." And she answered, "Why? Because he is a nice guy? Because he would treat you well?" My marriage ended very badly and shattered my self-esteem. I truly did not think I deserved much.

"I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true."

Well, the next day Wes called me at work and asked me out to dinner. I tried to find a reason not to go, but a free meal to a struggling single Mom was reason enough. We had a nice time and joked about drinking wine all over the world. I was not looking for love. My heart still hurt and I had three young children to raise. No time for dating. No time for fun.

"Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you."

Luckily for me, Wes is extremely patient. He could see what I could not imagine. Us. He wrote poignant, beautiful, hilarious letters to me every day and slowly my heart began to open. We started to spend more and more time together. And then it happened. He kissed me. I looked into his eyes and started to cry. There it was... us. Our future. Our love. It had been there all along. I was just too afraid/stubborn/unwilling to accept it.

That was eleven years ago. Today we are celebrating our ninth anniversary.  My children and I have been blessed beyond measure to have Wes join our team. Wes and I have been enjoying traveling, having fun, and drinking wine all over the world.  He will smile and tell you that he found his wild woman. I will beam and smile and tell you I finally found true love.

*Lyrics by Rascal Flatts "The Broken Road" sung by our pastor Joel Blunk on our wedding day.